Equity Focused | Inquiry Driven | Problem-Based-Learning | Transformational Leadership

There is not a single student that has walked into my class with the intention of being difficult. Not a single one. I firmly believe that kids don’t come into a class hoping to misbehave, that teachers intend to be the change they want to see, and that leaders got into leadership to support and not diminish those they are charged to lead.

But everyone walks onto campuses and into classrooms carrying baggage.

Some enter a room hesitant and projecting their past experiences onto the one that is immediately in front of them. Some enter not knowing exactly who they are but knowing how they are perceived in the hallways. But bottom line… no kid is hoping to misbehave, no teacher is hoping to harm, and no leader is hoping to be disengaged.

I recently sat down and calculated out approximately how many students I have had sit in chairs in my class throughout the course of my career thus far, and I have had over 1000 students, 1000 humans who are all trying to grow up into highly functioning adults who are positively contributing to society. Each one had strengths and each one had their own challenges. Some were learning new languages. Some were struggling with a learning disability. Some were top of the class and learning how to navigate what that meant for them and how to find challenges beyond the expected.

But there is one student that I will never forget. Brilliant in their own way, they had overcome a tremendous amount of adversity already in their 11 years of life. And they hated writing.

What this student didn’t know was that they were good at writing. They had an attention to detail that flowed through their work and maintained a clear throughline for the reader.

What this student didn’t know is that the way they interacted with words and sentence structure drew the reader into a space they didn’t expect.

But what this student did know was frustration. Ripped out pages. Torn up notebooks. Tears. Running away from the feeling of failure. And chairs thrown to the corner of the room.

And the frustration was not about ME. But it was directed toward me 99% of the time.

How often is that the bitter leadership lesson we have each experienced? As leaders, we are so often on the receiving end of the frustrations of those we support. And if we don’t stop to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and look at the challenges from their perspective, we can become reactive, punitive, accusatory, and demeaning without even intending to.

We all have that one thing that’s hard for us and that’s seemingly easy for everyone else. Let’s lead with empathy because sometimes, writing is hard.